In case of car accident: Yell, “Why the hell did you do that?!” at the other driver so that witnesses think it was their fault.
In case of house fire: Grab anything of monetary value and flee.
In case of flood: Get in Dad’s boat and become Queen of the Flood!
In case of mugging: Scream and jump around like a crazy person till mugger decides, “I don’t wanna deal with that crazy bitch” and leaves.
In case of home invasion: Hide under bed.
In case of armed robbery: Shut the fuck up and do what they say.
In case of illness: Engage in bidding war between A Current Affair and Today Tonight for rights to my inspiring story of strength, and how the public health system has failed me while catering to young, unemployed mothers on welfare whose kids are fat.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment